Flea Translator
by Hayasaka.Shion
Summary: Originally for the Kink Meme. After Shizuo complains about Izaya again, Shinra decides to create a device that translates what Izaya says to what he really wants to say, and gives this device to Shizuo. So when Izaya starts talking, and Shizuo gets the output from the translator, there's a big surprise waiting.


"I've~ done~ it~"

Kishitani Shinra's voice rang out with an upbeat, cheerful tone that only grated on the ears of his ex-bartender friend. In Shizuo's opinion, whatever goddamn invention Shinra may have made, it was not enough to justify dragging him out of bed and to Shinra's apartment before even cockcrow.

"Done what?" Shizuo grumbled at Shinra.

"Shizuo-kun, you're going to love this! You're going to fall at my feet and thank me for it! You're going to- pfhfhfh-"

Shinra's long speech was cut short by the flower vase aimed for his face. Shizuo wasn't a morning person and he didn't appreciate Shinra ruining his holiday for the week.

"I said, done what?"

"Okay, okay, I'll tell you! Look at this beauty! Feast your eyes!"

Shizuo did so.

He couldn't see anything special.

It appeared to be a music player, the portable kind that teenagers carried around regularly nowadays. An MP3 player, it was called, if Shizuo's memory served.

"You woke me up to show me a goddamn music player?!"

"No, no, it's not just any music player! It's the Izaya Translator!"

Immediately feeling his interest rise phenomenally at the mention of his enemy, Shizuo tried to get what Shinra was going on about. "So you know how I always said Izaya wasn't really that bad of a guy? But you never listened to me, so I made this for you!"

"The hell does it do?"

"It's specifically tailored for Izaya only. Whenever you switch this device on, it tries to pick up Izaya's voice. If it succeeds, it analyses his voice patterns and a host of other things you wouldn't get and tells you what he really wants to say! Now aren't I amazing?"

"So... it's basically an updated version of a lie detector?"

Shinra nodded. "Yup! Maybe after this you two can be great friends!"

Shizuo, for his part, was more confused than anything. What was the meaning of such a device? Because Izaya didn't lie, he hated Shizuo and everything he said to Shizuo had to be the truth. Why would he lie?

"So try it out! Here, put these headphones on, and press the button over here, and you're all set! So go find Izaya and talk to him. Realize what he wants to really say from the depths of his heart~" Shinra's words ended with a maliciousness that even unsettled Shizuo a bit.

Before he knew it, he was pushed out of the door and had it slammed in his face. Taken aback, he wondered why the hell Shinra thought Izaya would be up and running at five AM. He was probable curled up on his feathery bed in Shinjuku.

As if to prove him wrong, he heard the flea's voice in undertones. He doubted whether anyone else, had they been in the vicinity, would have heard it, but Shizuo had always had good ears.

He inched closer to the edge of the wall, where he could feel Izaya's scent coming from the alley beside Shinra's building. Trying to be discreet and unnoticeable, he let one eye go past the edge and take in the scene.

Izaya was holding a briefcase in his hand, and had a contemplative look on his face that Shizuo hadn't ever seen before when talking to him. Izaya had, unfortunately, his face to Shizuo's and immediately percieved him peeking.

"Oh my, Shizu-chan, are you stalking me now?" The voice was calm as usual, with just enough snideness to push Shizuo over the edge.

Button... Button... Goddamn it, where was that damn button he had to press?! Shizuo's hand fumbled around in his back pocket, hoping Izaya wouldn't notice for just a few more seconds.

Meanwhile Shizuo snorted at Izaya. "Me? Stalk you? Never." Finally his fingers found the rough patch where the button was, and he almost audibly sighed out in relief as he pressed it.

"Hm? Oh, Shizu-chan's wearing headphones! You look seriously weird!"

If this had been normal circumstances, Shizuo would have lost his head and started their normal killing chase around Ikebukuro, if it hadn't been for one thing. Just one damn thing.

Through the headphones, he heard Izaya's voice, but with words that the info broker wouldn't have been caught dead saying.

"Hm? Oh, Shizu-chan likes music! You look seriously cute!"

For a moment it blew him away, eyes wide at the words he'd just heard. Resulting in the stammering mess of words that came out of his mouth.

"Wh- Wh- What the hell?!"

Izaya gave him an odd look.

"Shizu-chan, looks like you finally kicked the bucket. Damn, that's hilarious. Should I put you in an asylum, I wonder?"

Shizuo would have been grateful to hear those words. They would've shaken away this shock and allowed him to continue trying to kill Izaya. But as it was, the device that Shinra had made was killing his ears.

"Shizu-chan, you don't look one hundred percent today. Damn, I'm worried. Should I take you home, I wonder?"

No fucking way that was Izaya who wanted to say those things! Shinra's device was malfunctioning! No way! Maybe if Shizuo just went at him like they always did, the stupid machine would finally start working right and repeat what Izaya said.

Shizuo followed the self-advice and lunged for Izaya, whose smile only widened sardonically as he dodged to the right. The light from the streetlights glanced off Izaya's flick knife, his form looking almost majestic as he feinted, evaded and attacked.

"Shizu-chan, I don't really mind being your workout partner but I've got a date this morning, so I gotta run! Bye!"

"Wait, you parasitic-"

Izaya jumped up the garbage bin, climbed the fire escape of the next building and was up in a matter of seconds. He waved to Shizuo, saying, "Bye, Shizu-chan! As always, I'll continue to hate you!"

With a very colorful string of words about the raven head, Shizuo turned back to head back to his apartment. But once again the voice in his ears froze him to the spot.

"Shizu-chan, I don't really mind being your workout partner but I've got an appointment this morning, so I have to go now. Bye!"

There was a pause, where the ice that froze Shizuo thawed, but froze over anew at the next set of words.

"Bye, Shizu-chan! As always, I'll continue to love you!"

No... shit...

Shizuo's brain went into overdrive. Love? Love? What love? Surely that ought to have been a hate he heard just now? Because there was no fucking way on earth that Izaya 'loved' Shizuo.

Why, though?

Because... well... there were ten thousand reasons! To start off, him and Izaya had always been at each other's throats, and they were polar opposites! They fought everyday, and just being within a five mile radius of Izaya was enough to make Shizuo lost all vestiges of control.

But, wait, when you look at it, it isn't really different from love, right?

Because, see, whenever there was something that pissed Shizuo off, the first thing he wanted to do was vent it out on Izaya, whenever Izaya was involved in something Shizuo wanted to be involved in it as well, and whenever Izaya was near Shizuo always had this uncontrollable desire to do things to the flea.

So... this means that... I've loved Izaya for all this time...?

Shizuo sped up with the realization, his monsterlike strides propelling him faster and faster as he ran to where Izaya would be.

Running to Shinjuku would normally have sapped the strength out of a normal human, but Shizuo didn't even break a sweat as he burst through the door and Izaya's office.

Izaya was getting ready to go to bed, apparently. His jacket was cast off on the desk and he was wearing a black tee with shorts to match. If this was what time Izaya went to bed, it wasn't a wonder why he never got up early.

Now he stood as if rooted to the spot and stared at Shizuo as if he was your everyday burglar.

"Shizu-chan... what a surprise meeting you here, huh..."

The machine correspondingly played back the exact same words.

"Izaya! Do you love me?"

An awfully abrupt way to say it, yes, and Shizuo's damned if anyone will consider the statement romantic, but it's not like he had tons of experience, either.

"H- Hah?"

Izaya stood there with with his mouth gaping open, almost going into cardiac arrest with the question that left Shizuo's lips. Hadn't he specifically said to Shizuo that he hated him? Then why this sudden turn of events?

"I said, do you love me?"

Shizuo repeated the question again, feeling strange sensations erupt in his stomach as he saw Izaya's flustered and conflicted face.

"Sh- Shizu-chan, I don't know when I said that-"

"No, you fool, look at this. This isn't a music player, it's a machine that tells me what you really want to say when you don't say it. "

Izaya's skin went ashen grey, his face an awful papery white.

"So just now when you told me you hated me-"

Izaya's skin got more paler and he even swallowed as Shizuo continued.

"-I heard you say you loved me."

An expletive made itself known to Izaya's lips as he cursed the only person who could have got such an idea and even acted on it. Kishitani Shinra better watch out.

"Izaya, answer me here!"

Izaya still couldn't bring himself to open his mouth through the huge whirlwind of feelings in his entire being.

"Dammit, Izaya, you leave me no choice..."

Shizuo lunged for Izaya. The action was reminiscent of the one Shizuo had done a few minutes ago, but the intent was completely different. While before it had been bordering of murderous, now it was a tad apprehensive and even a bit nervous.

They fell on the bed.

Shizuo's lips sort of fell on Izaya's, making the black-haired man's eyes go wide while Shizuo clammed his eyes shut and enjoyed the feeling of close proximity with his tentative lover.

Shizuo slid his tongue in, finding no resistance at all but no encouragement either from the shorter male, who was at the moment too busy having a romantic breakdown to respond.

At length though, he regained his senses and marvelled at how amazing kissing a person actually felt. Izaya had read about it, but he'd never experienced it himself - and none of those books ever said anything about feeling this weak in the knees or this fluttery in the stomach or this dizzy in the head!

Izaya kissed back with a vengeance, now that he finally realized the man who was kissing him was the exact same man that he'd been dreaming of kissing all these years. Both men fought it out in a battlefield of mouths never letting go of each other even for a moment. Even when air made it absolutely necessary they just broke apart for two seconds, grabbed all the air they could and went at it again.

Finally, after both had exhausted their lungs, they broke apart for the last time, Shizuo somewhat scared as to what Izaya was going to say and Izaya somewhat nervous as to what Shizuo was going to do.

"Tell me now, Izaya, do you love me?"

All Izaya can do is nod on a dazed fashion, too shocked at the recent events and still thinking of it as a dream that he'll wake up from any moment now.

Tentatively, as if Izaya would break up and shatter in front of his eyes, Shizuo stretched out a hand and touched Izaya's face, moving his finger down the right side of it, from the top of the forehead to the tip of the chin.

Izaya looked at the man who he'd regarded as unattainable for so many years now. Comparing his previous actions and the current action taking place produced a huge contrast - almost big enough to make them two different people.

Izaya closed his eyes and drank in the touch - it was the first time in a long time that he had been touched by someone without any violent intent.

Izaya has only one thing he wants to reply with.

"Yeah, Shizu-chan, I love you too,"

Barely have the words made them both smile when they kiss again, the atmosphere subtly changing from lovely to lovely tinged with naughtiness and a whole lot of promise.

Hours later, when the sun has risen and a new day has begun, Shizuo sits up on the bed and tries to locate his clothes while Izaya unintentionally distracts him by drawing patterns with his bare fingertips on Shizuo's back. He likes it, but he knows that he's got to go before life sniffs them out and knocks on their door, pulling them apart when all they want is each other.

He finds his shirt, his pants, his tie and other such items of his apparel; he's ready to leave and kisses his lover goodbye.

The lover clutches his sleeve as he moves to go. "Stay," is what his eyes say.

He shakes his head, he knows he cannot.

But the lover kisses him on the lips, one small peck that's nothing compared to the night they spent together, and Shizuo can feel his will drying up.

He knows that outside the door, the world will remain a cruel place that will always be looking for ways to hurt them; he knows that people won't ever approve of the two of them together as one - he knows all that, yet he also knows that inside is theirs. Theirs to do what they please when they please it.

Another kiss on the lips seals his fate; he knows he's not going to leave for a long time to come. "I love you," his lover says, and Shizuo replies with a kiss, the kind that take your breath away with the emotions packed inside it.

He knows he doesn't need a machine to know that Izaya's telling the truth.

A/N: Don't ask me how it became like this... I planned out something different, but Izaya made me do this... blame him! Also, sorry for any typos I mighy have made, I had to type this on my ipod. And this is my first fill, so I still don't know my way around... haha... please be kind ^^'


End file.
